miss you.

The day ended and as usual I was tired.extremely tired.
i just managed to drive back home and lay down on the couch..i didn’t even open my shoes.As soon I closed my eyes I was asleep.
Suddenly…I felt you.your breath very close to my ears.the perfume that always turned me weak.you opened my shoes.i knew it had to be you.you came close to me…and whispered ‘baby,u tired?shall I takeyou to the bedroom?’I murmured..’yes’.
You picked me up in your arms…the warmth.i felt it..i held you tightly..still not opening my eyes…you took me to the bedroom and laid me.
I was waiting for you to come.i knew you wouldn’t go away before kissing me goodnight.i knew you would just hold on to me throughout the night.you have always done that.i kept waiting….
I couldn’t keep waiting any longer…I opened my eyes.i was lying there on the couch.still had my shoes on…
you didn’t come.not today.not yesterday.not the day before.
It was all my imagination.you were just in my thoughts….but…I still couldn’t belive it.it was so real.i felt you.yes,I knew it was your touch.it just had to be you.

I miss you.

angry

i am angry.reely reely angry.maybe for the first time...i actually say this...but...u knw how i feel like right now??i feel like blowing a hard punch on dis f#@$ing monitor.i feel like smashing my cellphone to pieces.i feel like shouting.yellling out my lungs out..and as i type i put my full energy on this f*^$@ing keyboard.i feel like killing somebody.slitting his throans..and bash his head against the wall and juat throw him in some gutter.god damn!

for my entire life of 19years...no one has ever seen me angry.infact,people keep telling me 'tui ki kokhono ragish na?'(do u never get angry?)

to the million of those people...'i do'.i do get angry.maybe it dosen't show in my face...and i end up crying...n u think i am a crybaby....but i simply get angry at myself for not being able to show the anger.i fail to understand why i lack the emotion of being a leo.why the hell do i have such big tear gland...which flows every now and then.

i am angry.i am f@#*ing angry.